officiallybi:

molbitch:

I’m thinking about how we say “spill the tea” or just “tea” and how ppl used to say “spill the beans” like what if we just said “beans” when gossiping

“… and then she told me that he actually wasn’t at her house!”

“oh beans”

versacegods:

teacher: write a 5 page essay analyzing this
me: it’s not that deep 🏊🏼

joner:

hotmeat89:

joner:

hotmeat89:

what does it mean when she sends you a pic of her pussy with the caption come fuck this pussy??????

snapchat or text message

she’s in my room asking me to fuck her what does this mean

Shit homes that could mean fucking anything

excusemewhileiplaykh:

Smash announcer voice: WIG!

yip-yip:

flower-lesbienne:

gunsandfireandshit:

casbean:

harryngtonewithyourshit:

beardedchrisevans:

Is Chris Evans Steve Rogers or is Steve Rogers Chris Evans?

good

“Fellas, is it gay to be a good father?”

Shout out to Harry Hill

twinsfawn:

monday mood

xtec:

thothoward:

the funniest thing we do to alligators is duct tape their mouths shut when we need to handle them. imagine being a creature so ancient and undefeatable that you haven’t changed in thousands of years being rendered basically defenseless by a piece of plastic

SHUT

It Is Wintertime

thebootydiaries:

bug: hi

me: Aren’t You Supposed To Be Dead.

rockbusted:

mynewurl:

mynewurl:

this website has destroyed my sense of humour, last night i was in bed with my bf and i had a mental image of an egg with the word suspicious written on it and honestly lost my shit